Parentification And The Wounded Healer

So many of us who are survivors of childhood trauma

spent our early years desperately attempting

to caretake or even heal our parents

in hopes of receiving the love and care we so deserved.

This is parentification…

when we are forced to be parents to our parents,

and in the process,

we never truly got to be children

or have our own needs met properly.

When we grow up in this way,

we may find in adulthood

that we are so focused on the needs of others

that our own needs continue to go unmet.

Eventually, this way of living can make us burned out,

resentful, and sick,

and can even make us vulnerable

to predatory types

who will take advantage

of our kindness and lack of boundaries.

It may take decades for us

to accept that it is impossible to heal others,

that in fact, others must be willing to take responsibility

for their own lives and well-being,

and that we need to do the same

if we are ever going to truly be happy and healthy.

The very best we can do for ourselves

and others is to heal the neglected inner child

within us who never got their needs met.

Once we transform our own lives in this way,

our true work with others can begin.

What we find is that being a healer doesn’t mean self-sacrifice,

but that it is a natural extension of a healed self.

The healing balm that we offer the world is

our own compassionate, loving, embodied wisdom

that naturally flows from us to everyone we touch.