People Pleasing

Self-betrayal. Self-abandonment. Self-annihilation. Soul suicide.

Pruning taken too far.

Dis-integrated.

Dismantled.

Dismembered. 

A hand here, 

an arm there, 

my heart in pieces,

…parts of myself 

scattered here, there,

and everywhere.

I cut off my limbs, 

watered myself down, 

shrank my feelings, 

compromised what I wanted,

and muted my expression,

segmenting myself into palatable, 

bland bits for your comfort, 

consumption, and pleasure.

I dis-integrated myself, 

exiling parts of myself 

that I thought you might not like. 

I banished them, and for what? 

Some cheap masquerade 

of acceptance that was anything but? 

All to get my needs met 

in the cheapest 

and most ineffective ways,

all the while 

making myself weaker, 

and weaker.

Self-betrayal. Self-abandonment. Self-annihilation. Soul suicide.

Pruning taken too far.