10 Signs You May Be A Wounded Healer
“When our wounds cease to be a source of shame and become a source of healing, we have become wounded healers.”
Henri Nouwen
The wounded healer is one of the primary human archetypes, and the phrase was coined by Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung. This concept has also been written about by Caroline Myss and mythologist Joseph Campbell and is a fundamental aspect of the Shamanic path.
The wounded healer is not necessarily a “healer” in profession, although they may be. Wounded healers are frequently found in helping professions, and may be doctors, nurses, energy healers, coaches, and the like or they may offer their healing insight to others through writing, poetry, art, teaching, parenting, or other forms of caregiving. Wounded healers are usually empathetic, caring, compassionate, accepting, non-judgmental, and frequently highly sensitive.
The main thing that makes one a wounded healer is the path they have walked in life. Wounded healers (or wounded physicians, as Jung called them) are those who have known suffering. This suffering may have come from childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, abandonment, a near-death experience, long illness, or other struggles in life that they had to work to overcome. One must, in some way, be wounded to truly become a healer, as it is only through overcoming suffering that one is initiated into becoming a healer.
How Do You Know If You Are A Wounded Healer?
Chances are that if you clicked the link to read this article, you may likely be a wounded healer, but there are some telltale signs. Check it out.
You have experienced great suffering in your life (the wound) - The primary aspect of being a wounded healer is that one has encountered great suffering and pain in some form. This could be from childhood trauma, abuse, neglect, prolonged physical illness, mental illness, or near-death experiences, to name a few. As the great poet Rumi says, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.”
You tend to put the needs and desires of others ahead of your own - You tend to be externally focused in terms of what others think, feel, need, and maybe even what others want from you and think of you. This way of being could very likely stem from having to take care of your parents or caregivers as a young child, which is called parentification. When we are extremely externally focused in this way, we tend to people-please and turn ourselves inside out for others. In the process, we can easily lose track of how we feel, and what we want and need. If this goes on for long periods of time, we may find ourselves struggling with burnout, resentment, emptiness, and confusion as to who we truly are and what we want. This way of living can eventually negatively impact our mental and physical health.
You see challenges as opportunities for growth - You have a deep understanding that the way that we grow as humans is through struggles and challenges. You inherently know that while you may want to feel good all the time, real life is not the “happily-ever-after” that we are told is possible as children. If you stay in your comfort zone for too long, you feel stagnant, unfulfilled, dissatisfied, bored, and stuck. You welcome challenges when you can, and lean into the lessons that struggles provide, allowing them to grow you as a person.
You want to help people - You have always had a soft spot for those who are struggling or suffering, and you have always wanted to help them in some way. You may be drawn to helping animals, humans, the environment, or humanity at large and you may be passionate about making positive change happen for those you love. You want to learn all you can about helping others so that you can be as effective as possible. You may already be in a caregiving profession, or you may be studying to be in one in the future.
People call on you when they are in need - Those who love and care about you know just how caring, kind, compassionate, and generous you are when it comes to helping those around you, and they feel safe reaching out to you for support when they are in need. You may lend an ear to a friend who is struggling, help a sick relative by driving them to run errands or show up for someone when they have nobody else. You are a caring soul who always makes time for others and you feel fulfilled when you offer support to those you care about.
You are a lifelong seeker of growth and truth - Above all else, you have an endless pursuit of personal growth and for the truth. You believe that personal growth is a tremendously important thing to do so that you can become the very best version of yourself that you can be. In addition, you are a seeker of truth…your personal truth, as well as spiritual truths and the truth of life itself. You love learning about yourself and consistently look for ways to grow on all levels of your being so that you can bring your best to your own life and to the lives you are here to help.
You know the importance of working on yourself - You are deeply committed to your journey of healing your own life. You understand that all of your relationships, all that you do, and all that you create emanate from the depths of who you are as a person. You know on a deep, fundamental level that you are the creator of your own reality, and this inner knowing is your personal GPS that provides the ongoing drive and motivation to continue to do your healing and personal growth work. You know that you have a clear purpose in this lifetime, and that helps to motivate you to continue on the path, even when things get challenging.
You are comfortable with the darkness - You grew up in the darkness of some form of trauma, abuse, or neglect, therefore you are familiar with the darkness. While you want to find your way out of this darkness, it is comfortable and feels safe to you since it is what you know. At times this murky terrain still feels much more safe and comfortable than going into the unknown territory of the light, as much as you may want to do just that. You may be fascinated with death, shadow work, horror movies, or other things gothic or melancholy.
You have a clear sense of purpose - You have a clear sense of purpose in the world. You have known for some time now just why you are here and what you want and need to do. This clear knowing is your North Star that guides you in all that you do in your life, and you are extremely focused. You know that to fulfill your unique purpose, there is both inner and outer work that you need to do on an ongoing basis, and you do it in a committed way. You are driven and never give up on your goals, no matter how challenging it becomes at times.
You understand that the path of healing is ongoing - You know that the path of healing for the wounded healer is an ongoing journey. You get on some deep level that the healing path is not about an “arrival” point to some set destination in the future. Instead, you know, that as a wounded healer, you must be willing to commit to your healing and your personal transformation to fulfill your purpose and to help those you are here to help. You know that to be the person you came here to be in this lifetime, you need to be willing to do the work on an ongoing basis, for your well-being as well as for the well-being of your relationships with others. You recognize the power of the inner work you do and know that as you transform your own pain, fear, confusion, and misalignment, you are more energetically and emotionally available for those you are here to support.
Does this sound like you? Were there some resonant things and others that weren’t as much? Share your thoughts in the comments. I would love to hear from you!
