The Damsel Becomes A Slave
Name Meanings:
Sophia - wisdom, wise
Eric - Complete ruler
Sophia did not trust herself. She didn’t believe one bit in her own ability to support herself on any level. Fear was her constant companion. She had grown up being told that she was not good enough, that she was somehow flawed and lacking what she needed to get by in the world on her own, and she believed it. She believed that she was broken and helpless. She didn’t trust herself with even the most basic of things in her life, and so she sought security outside of herself through any means possible. Since she was a beauty, and always easily attracted the attentions of a multitude of men, she felt that the best way to get her needs met was through the support of generous men. She knew well how to use her looks and sexuality to get what she wanted, and she had been doing it since she was very young. She was the consummate “damsel in distress,” and men were always more than willing to help her…at a price. She mistakenly thought that the main price was simply providing company and friendship to these men, but little did she know that there was a much larger price, and far more sinister than she would ever want to admit to herself. Her denial of the truth and her unwillingness to see the whole picture cost her more than she could have imagined. Had she seen clearly, perhaps she would have made another choice, but she did not.
How did she end up this way, the damsel in distress, not believing in herself even enough to trust that she could get by on her own? She learned how to be a woman from her mother, as all little girls do. Unfortunately for them both, her mother did not believe in herself either and always depended on men to take care of her. Her mother died young, and when she was alive she was emotionally absent, and was also disempowered and never learned the vital lessons of self-love and self-trust that are required to be a strong woman in the world. The emptiness and disconnection from the abundance of the spirit was prevalent in her maternal lineage. Her mother, mother’s mother and back from there had been full of insecure, fearful women, believing completely in the lack and other lies of the patriarchy. The idea that women are weak, and need to be supported by a man…whether emotionally, physically, financially or otherwise was something that had been passed down through her maternal lineage. There was to be no escape from this belief system until someone became strong enough to pull out of it, and that had yet to happen.
Sophia was caught in this kind of life, and it was all she knew, all she had been taught. She knew no other way of surviving. Like all damsels in distress, she believed that she needed to find a King, or at least a knight in shining armor to save her and take care of her. She could not see her own latent ability to support and love herself and was not aware that she could get to that place if she tried. Even if she did see her own potential, she wanted what she thought was the easy way out, not knowing that there is a price, sometimes infinitely high, for every choice we make in life. No, it seemed far easier and more sensible to Sophia to simply find a man to support her, and who better to do so than a King? It was the road well-traveled, and while she watched the same path destroy her mother and her mother before her, she hoped it would turn out differently for her.
For the thousandth time, she pushed aside her feelings and intuition that what she was doing was harmful to her, as she proceeded to the castle of her benefactor, King Eric. She could not afford to give in to the warnings from her deeper self, as her fear of not having enough was a much more powerful drive than that of taking care of herself and preserving her spirit. All she knew was survival. Out of her desperation, she said yes to his marriage proposal, even though she detested the man. She proceeded through the gates of the sprawling property of King Eric, for the wedding. She had never been to his castle before, always meeting him previously in other places, somehow sensing that if she went to his castle that she would be pulled into his dark world even more, with the possibility that she may never escape. She didn’t even like the man at all, as he was a tyrannical ruler, the type of man to use his power and influence to gain power and dominate others. She knew of his dark nature, but had convinced herself that there was nothing harmful in their relationship, that it was mutually beneficial, and on the surface that was true. She was in deep denial, for if she truly opened her eyes and saw clearly what was happening beneath the surface of their dynamics, she would surely try to find another way, any way other than this. If she knew of his true intentions, she would have run the other way upon their meeting. The truth is that Eric was 20 plus years her senior and only wanted to own and control Sophia as he did others, and he knew that his money and power could buy her too.
As she entered the sprawling grounds of the castle, Sophia was filled with dread. She hated even the idea of coming here, never mind living here, and she felt like doing so was not in her best interest, but as always, she ignored the warnings from her heart. She could not support herself financially, and as far as she could see, marrying the King was her best option, even if she was disgusted by him. As she entered the castle, she greeted King Eric, giving him the customary kisses and affections, even though the thought of him repulsed her and made her skin crawl with disgust.
As Sophia got dressed for the ceremony in her large, elaborate dressing room, she was taking a moment to decide if she could somehow escape the situation at the last minute, knowing it was futile since his servants were right outside her door. As she frantically attempted to devise a plan of escape, she suddenly she felt a fine mist coming down on her head from the ceiling. To her horror, she looked up to see a white powdery liquid coming down, and then, just as she noticed that she was in serious danger and that something sinister was happening, she became enveloped in darkness.
People from all around the village had gathered to witness the elaborate ceremony that was about to take place at the castle of King Eric. There was a buzz of excitement and celebration in the crowd as the time grew close to see the King wed. The King’s staff was gathered round, and it was clear that everyone was excited for the big day and the festivities to follow. All at once, Eric commanded, “bring me my Queen”! The squeaky sound of rusty wheels drew slowly nearer, and everyone slowly turned, expecting to see the soon-to-be Queen walking to meet her King. Instead, the servants rolled out a flat wooden cart on wheels. There was a hush and a gasp from the crowd as they saw what laid upon the cart. In a beautiful wedding gown fit for a Queen, there Sophia was, lying prone on the cart, strapped down with a gag in her mouth.
At that moment, Sophia groggily awoke, realizing, to her horror, the gravity and severity of her situation. In her mistrust of herself and of life itself, she had sold her very freedom. Her perceived need of support from the King is what caused Sophia to unwittingly sign a contract that would commit her to spiritual slavery and her own ultimate soul death. She had quite literally sold her soul to the devil. Now not only did King Eric have total and complete control over his kingdom and all of the villagers, but he now had made Sophia his personal slave. With the decision to wed the King, she lost any and all personal freedom and power that she ever had, along with the opportunity to live her life as she wished. She was doomed to a life of slavery: she was under the King’s complete control with no hope of escape. Now she would live as the King’s doll, just there to be pretty and to please him sexually. She had no life of her own. She lost everything. Her freedom. Her spirit. Her power. He had it all. He possessed her and he was in full control of Sophia for the remainder of her dark and empty days.
The Moral of the Story:
As challenging as it can be to live with CPTSD and as a victim of childhood trauma, we must do all that we can to take ownership of our lives. It is fine to lean on others when we need to do so, of course, but to a point. When we need others too much, when we lean on and depend upon their support too much, we are in danger of becoming a slave to their desires, and lose track of our deep, authentic and wild self in the process.
