The Wounded Inner Child
Some things can block our true, core selves from taking the lead in our lives. One of those things is the presence of one or more wounded inner child parts. We are multidimensional beings, and one of the facets of our multidimensionality is that we have many parts, sub-personalities, or aspects of the self. For example, you know how sometimes you feel divided on something, and you can't figure out an answer or solution, and you go back and forth in confusion? It could be that a part or parts of yourself disagrees with another part or parts of yourself. This can get super frustrating, and make it feel like there is something wrong with you.
Good News: there isn't. 🌞
When we have unhealed trauma, this type of inner conflict is very common. What happens is that one or more parts are in conflict with the core self, also called the true self. These parts often carry a lot of strong emotions like anger, rage, shame, helplessness, and despair, and they can be very loud and create a lot of polarization, and chronic stress. You may recognize ways that your wounded inner child parts show up in your life (by the way, sometimes they are older, but so much of the time they are very young!) The inner conflict with unhealed parts shows up the most in our relationships with others since relationships are the place where we have been most wounded in our lives.
It is a good practice to start to inquire as to which parts of ourselves are running the show when we conflict with ourselves or others. One thing that can be a telltale sign is if our response to a situation seems bigger or louder than it seems apt for what is happening.
As an example: if something takes us right into liftoff, out of our bodies, and launching like a rocket into hyperactivation like full-on anxiety or panic, it may just be that a part or parts are being triggered. This part may not recognize that you are an adult living in an adult body, and may instead believe that you are still stuck in some horrible situation in the past. In parts work, our task is to update these parts so they know they are no longer living in the horrible situations of the past, and that the true, adult self is here to love them and care for them. Our work is to gain the trust of the child parts so they step aside, allowing the true self to shine through.
Our power lies in this alignment.
When our true self is taking the lead, we experience more inner harmony and peace with life and with who we are.🎇
The Wounded Inner Child As Healer
As healers, teachers, coaches, and caregivers of all kinds, this can be even more tricky. If we are working with others in a healing capacity, we don't want our inner child parts in the mix with our work with our clients or students. This can create all kinds of issues that block our ability to be as effective as we can be in helping others.
Our inner child self may be doing their work to receive the love, attention, approval, or safety they didn't receive as children. They may be trying to prove their worthiness or they may still be trying to save their wounded parents, as so many of us do who grew up in dysfunctional homes. Our wounding from childhood can make us needy with the very people who need us, and our work should be about that, not about us.
It is our job to face the wounded parts of ourselves, one by one, and let them know that the true self is here with them, and can be trusted to take good care of them. For this and so many other reasons, we must do our best to honor ourselves in every way possible so that trust can build. 💗
For more on this topic, watch our video “Wounded Inner Child As Healer” on YouTube.
