Pain Into Power
By turning your pain into an opportunity for growth and healing, you open the door to becoming the person you’ve always wanted to be. - Kathryn Tristan
Our pain and struggles offer a potent doorway into the deeper self and into the psychospiritual growth that we need to become who we were meant to be.
How Do We Do This?
The first step is to meet our pain as best we can…to open to it when it comes, breathing into it and welcoming it, knowing that it offers us an opportunity to deepen into ourselves and into life. We say “yes” to it, reminding ourselves of the transformation inherent in pain, struggle, and loss.
We Can Also Ask Better Questions…
Instead of asking questions that lead us deeper into emotional pain and feelings of victimization, like “why is this happening to me?” or “how could they?” or saying, “it isn’t fair!” (even though it indeed may not be, we must remember that life is anything but fair.)
The following questions help us to take ownership of our power when challenges arise.
What can I learn about myself from this situation?
What can I learn about life from this situation?
How can I use this as an opportunity to grow as a person?
What is this illuminating within me that I need to see?
What am I not seeing?
What is my part in this?
These types of questions will help us to grow and to take ownership of our lives and our power.
Telling A New Story…
When we tell the same story of pain, we bind ourselves to that story, and to that pain-filled identity. In a very real way, this makes it impossible to live another story based on wholeness that would help us to create a new life for ourselves. Our attachment to the old story of pain makes it very challenging, if not impossible to attract the things that we truly desire.
We must choose wisely. Whatever story we tell over and over again becomes our life. Perhaps we did endure trauma and loss in the past, but once we have done the work to face that pain, alchemizing it into compassion and love, we are free to make a new choice - a choice to move on and to create our lives on purpose.
Are you binding yourself to an old worn-out story that is ready to die?
Choice is potent. We are always making choices, but how often are they conscious choices that move us forward in our lives? If we do not make a choice, one will be made for us that is based on our habitual patterns. A good way to start is to allow yourself to have the happiness that you deserve by releasing it with love, knowing that story, and the pain attached to it helped you in many ways.
One way to do this is through ritual. Ritual can help us to truly solidify a new choice and a new path.
Some ideas for rituals that will help you to release the past:
Write a letter to your “old self,” thanking the pain and the trauma for what it taught you, how it molded you, and how it helped you to be strong and know how to overcome challenges and adversity. Think of this as sort of a break-up letter. Understand that the events of the past are merely things that you went through…they are not WHO YOU ARE. Your resilience is due to everything you have survived. You may want to read the letter out loud, either to yourself or to a trusted friend who is willing to bear witness to this part of you. When you are ready to release the story completely, you can burn it safely. If you can do so under the light of the full moon, the energy of the moon will assist you in this releasement.
Write two lists next to each other. The first is a list of beliefs that you would like to release - those that bind you to the past. The second column is things that you would like to call into your experience. The items in each column should somehow correlate to one another. For example, “I release the belief that I am unworthy.” and in the second column, “I am worthy and deserving of happiness.” The second column works best to have in an affirmation format like this. You could be complete there, or you can continue to deepen in the ritual by tearing off each item as a small piece of paper, keeping the old in one pile, and the new affirmations in another. When you are ready, you can burn the old beliefs (with love and gratitude) and if you so desire, you can plant the affirmations. You can use seeds or simply plant them alone, thanking mother earth for helping you to be reborn.
Are you ready for your rebirth? You are ready, and the world needs you and your unique magic!
