The Voice Of Dysregulation
This is the voice of chronic emotional dysregulation.
“The ups and downs of my emotions
take me on a ride I don’t want to be on…
How can I get off this endless roller coaster?!
Anxiety, panic, and hypervigilance
are my constant companions,
feeling trapped in my body, and in my life.
I feel so restricted and stuck.
I wish I felt free to be myself.
Procrastination, lack of motivation, and no drive…
Why can’t I get anything done?!
Spaced out, zoned out,
and isolated with no ambition
or energy to move beyond this spot.
I am glued to my couch,
staring at the screen in front of me.
Helplessness, fear, and depression,
why won’t you leave me alone?!
I try to make it stop,
and I try to make my life work,
with no success.
The more I push, the worse it gets.
I blame myself.
I feel like a failure…
I must be broken.
What is wrong with me?!”
Do these things sound familiar?
This is the voice of chronic emotional dysregulation, and for decades, I struggled like this, blaming myself for all of it, thinking there was something wrong with me that I couldn't just "get it” and get my life working the way I wanted it to. For me, and so many others, we may do all the things to try to heal our lives, but until we do the work of regulating our nervous system, we only get so far.
The thing is that none of the things I mentioned are personal failings in any way, quite the opposite. Despite your best efforts, you may be unable to change certain patterns of emotion, thought, belief, and the way that you move through the world in a much more limited way than you know is possible. It’s not you. It’s your physiology. It’s your brain and your nervous system trying to keep you safe, and you cannot push past it. You have to learn to work WITH your nervous system to create a sense of safety, which frees up much-needed space. When you do this, you find you have more capacity for your big emotions, for the things you want to do, and more capacity for life.
If you found this post helpful, you may like my free guide, “21 Practices To Help You Get Off the Emotional Roller Coaster.”
Click below to get your free copy!
